My dear friend, ex-boy friend, and only boy I've ever really loved is in the Army and was home recently on R&R after a minor injury. We had the chance to hang out quite a bit while he was home for the last two weeks. We have a relationship that I won't even try to explain because not even we understand it. But all I can say is that I love him with more of my heart than I've ever loved anyone else. His feelings for me are even stronger. I was able to be with him at the airport on Halloween until he departed. It was such a weird, weird feeling. You see it in the movies, you watch it on the news, and you hear it on the radio but when you are the one saying "goodbye" it sends emotions through you like you didn't even know existed. There were more emotions and thoughts going through my mind than I could even sort through. It was almost fake...like I could go on with my every day to day tasks and pretend that he isn't really fighting a war. He isn't really having to sleep on the ground in the dirt, night after night. He isn't really jumping out of helicopters. He isn't really finding bombs. He isn't really being shot at. But deep down I know all of those things are true. It hits me at very unexpected times. He is in my mind all day, every day, but it is out of no where when I actually get sad, and cry without any control over it.
|This is what I'm waiting for*|